Monday, December 12, 2011

The 18 Year Long Day by Cindy Henrion

I submitted my resignation letter to my employer today, the State of FL Department of Revenue. Mind you this was just a required formality, and out of respect. The decision to retire from the state has been in progress almost two years now with actually starting the process ie paperwork, just last October. A mix of emotions is setting in. One is relief. Relief from the daily 8-5 grind, anjjjd a grind it has become. The daily constant shuffling of taxpayers forms and payments with no end in sight I finally have full appreciation of when Seinfeld’s Newman painstakingly yelled out, "The mail never stops!" I laugh to myself often referring to it as the 18 year long day at the office. Sure feels that way.

Deafness has never been an issue in my work, I can do my job fully deaf, if anything like in the real world it's created social barriers that 'late-deafness' presents and is an annoyance at times, but also a welcome blessing as I’ve escaped most of the office politics that abounds in every work place. The slow progressive hand loss, both hands now extremely affected, and walking issue is another story and my reason for this decision. On the flip side, I will miss the people who have become my friends especially these last few years. It wasn’t always that way as it took me well over 12 years and 4 Supervisors to feel any semblance of belonging to the group. Even now my once rigid authoritarian supervisor has become a friend which is maybe the biggest lesson this job has taught me, to show compassion and forgiveness even if you don't feel you should.

I'm just a tad fearful of having nothing to do, feeling useless, bored. Ok, I'll get over that in about 5 minutes ;) So its 13 days countdown to my last day. I've been sitting behind a desk for over 20 years, as my size 14 jeans prove. I'll probably sit at home on the couch watching THE OFFICE for a week, then let out a collective musing of, “Now what?” Then I’ll go outside in the day time breath in fresh air and feel the sun on my skin. I’ll walk my dog at noon, shop at 3 pm, I’ll continue to be grateful for all my blessings and spend more time with family and friends and supporting causes I care about. And never ever stress out about being late for work again (collective merriment) ;)

More thoughts as I blog my last 13 days to come....

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I've stopped being mad at homeless people for being in better physical shape than a lot of us. Yes, they can hear, they can talk, they can walk, most of them appear physically fit in every way. In contrast we're deaf, a few have mobility and balance problems, we all seem to have other health issues. But when you think about it, if it wasn't for God's providence for us - in giving us family, a government that helps the disabled, friends - we could be in their second-hand shoes, in their cold tents, staring into their empty pots. They're taking on the homeless suffering that would have been our lot from being too disabled to work - from being cast off from families that would have been unable to shoulder the burden of caring for us. This year, when enjoying the warmth of the Christmas Season, let's not forget to share a little with our neighbors without a house.